The impression vs. the reality.

There is a reason you don’t see white bowling balls. The oil on the lane makes them dirty looking. This gives the impression that they are much more worn out much quicker than other colored bowling balls. It’s not true at all, it just looks that way, but the way a customer feels is what matters, not necessarily the reality.

I’m reading Talking to Strangers by Malcolm Gladwell and something that he mentions (with anecdotes and proof) is how bad people are at reading others when their expressions don’t match their actual feelings or beliefs. The white bowling ball makes you believe it’s dirtier than a red one. You yourself may be giving off vibes that don’t represent you correctly. It may not be fair for others to judge you by them, but they likely are in some way. It’s not an active decision to make, it just happens. If you are conscious of it, you can do your best to convey how you feel by your expressions rather than defaulting to a misrepresentation. Some people are naturally gifted with this, and others aren’t. It might be a skill worth developing, or at least thinking about.